Saturday, October 8, 2011

I Heart Your Bad Attitude

So, I'm writing a scene where my main character, a 16-year-old girl, gets grounded by her grandmother for using foul language in the sampler she's supposed to be stitching.

I wanted her naughty sampler to be more witty than just a simple curse or telling off, so I did some internet searches on a whim for foul-mouthed stitchery.

Believe it or not, I found a site that actually sells foul-mouthed needlepoint kits:

So, BAMFers, what inappropriate or atypical phrase would you want stitched on a sampler (or pillow) at your house? (Check out the website for inspiration- be warned- 'tis adult language ahead.)

I have two sampler-type pillows I received as gifts: one says, My Family Tree is Full of Nuts, and the other says I Smile Because You're My Sister; I Laugh Because You Can't Do Anything About It. Pretty fitting, really.


Gary's third pottery blog said...

I shall have to come back with more, but 2 come to mind, of course "may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your private parts" and from THE DANTE CLUB "You are a small and unclean insect". Then there is the mushy and fun and loving kind "really love your peaches I wanna shake your tree" to "I love you as much as my beagle". :)

Maude said...

I've always liked "My mother is the travel agent for one-way guilt trips." A bit long for stitching is "Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. They have not forgotten this." Don't need that one at my house--we live it!

k.a. barnes said...

I don't have one, but I've always liked "Dogs have owners, cats have staff."

Liz said...

there are OH SO MANY rude things I would love to see on a sampler, but then, I am kinda bitchy lately.. and I totally haunt subversive crosstitch when I am feeling particularly stabby. Somehow just looking at her hard work, makes me feel better.

Reverend Awesome said...

"My goal is to always come from a place of love, but sometimes you just have to break it down for a mother fucker." -RuPaul

"Pleased to meet you, it's a pleasure knowing me."